How I became a Muslim

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim

Assalem aleikum, wa rahmatullahi, wa barakatuh

How did I became a Muslim?

This is really difficult to answer. 

I do not know where to begin. I could begin when I was a little girl and were put in Church to sing in the choir. I could begin when I started to question what happens after death and have no answer. I could start with the moment when I was a teenager and I asked God to guide me if he existed. I could also start when I did research to find guidance and only found quotes from different places collected in a book: Impossible to follow: 

It was ashame for anybody during my childhood to believe in God. It was nothing that anybody talked about. My mother and my step-father did not believe in anything or at least, they never spoke about it. They do not believe in heaven and PAradise, they do not believe in hell either. They certainly did not believe in djinn and ghosts and shaytan. But my mother believed in astrology, and so did I. I was very fascinated with astrology and that made an impact on me. I believed many things but was very suspicious about whether it was for real or not. 

I thought about God and I thought that the people around me that believe in God are crazy. They are brain-washed and there are a lot of Sects in the world that brain-washes girls and boys and make them believe in God. I really had no desire to become anything like that. I was very awake. But I had something most people don't have. I was a listener. 

I listened to people and their stories. And listen to what they had to say. I read about psychology, medicine, health. I tried to understand life and how to deal with problems in family and society. 

My thought about society before I became a Muslim was that I thought anything was okay as long as it did not hurt anyone. I don't think that anymore. 

I did what everybody did. I was active in school, and during leisuretime. I read a lot and had friends. I was a looner, but my mother insisted that I went out to meet friends, so I did. I never had a boy-friend and I really liked to watch movies about Nuns that wore those black-white clothes, prayed and became so good. I respected them very much. But I could never be a Nun. That was too difficult. 

I had a friend in school that was from Turkey. She never prayed, nor did her family pray. They did not talk about islam either. They had close family-ties and it was always something around them, parties etc. They exchanged Christmas-presents in school and she wore clothes like other Swedish girls except that the clothes were much nicer. They were bought from Turkey. I wanted to wear those clothes too. 

I understood that Qur'an was important and that she respected islam. She was a Muslim, but that was it. 

So what happened?

I began study at University. That gave me the opportunity to go to France. 
I France I had problems understanding the society and how it worked. I had my friends, but I soon departed from them. I like to be alone. I had to do my exams at the local Swedish church in Nice, France. That was when I met a priest and he was preparing the choir for singing Lucia-songs that was so Swedish in Nice. I went with them and we sang in front of the rich people of Monaco, in front of Television and everywhere where Swedes worked in Nice. 

During this time I met a guy that I did not like. He helped me the first time I met him with coins for the washing-machine. AFter that I invited him to my room to give him money back. He entered and started to talk about - ISLAM. Right away. I listened. But I was not interested. 

Everytime I met him I avoided him. I did not think he was handsome either. He continued to stock me, I felt and I did not open the door when he knocked either. 

One day, after I left some Swedish friends and I was going to say to this guy that I did not want to continue this game, he said to me that I had to decide whether to be his friend or not. I accepted. 

After that, he continued to talk about islam. I ate at his place and he always invited me. 

AFter that, one day, he asked me whether I wanted to become a Muslim. He said that I was ready to take the next step. I made shahada in front of him, and that was it. 

Why?

Because islam appealed to me. It gave me the whole picture of life and after death. Christianity, Buddhism, Judaism or other was not sufficient. Islam was the only religion that explained why we are here, what the boundaries are, what to expect after death. It explained what was true and what was not true. For example: Were there really ghosts? Did astrology work? Can you know the future? Was Jesus really a person or only invented by Christians? etc.

But what about the prayer and the clothes? Yes, Islam changes everything to become purer. Islam is about purifying your heart, your mind, your soul. It is about controlling yourself and what you think, see, do, hear, say, do. Your lifestyle changes and the more the heart is pure the more your thoughts become pure. EVerything we eat, drink, watch, listen to must be pure so that your mind and heart can be purified. One way to purify yourself is to pray. So I started to learn how to pray. 

I watched him pray and it felt funny. But after that I really felt that everytime I prayed and I prayed that Allah would guide me and I cried. I cried and cried and cried and that is a sign that your heart is being purifed by God, Allah. 

After only one month I had converted. After two months I put on my scarf, my hidjab. After three months we married. 

Why marry this guy? Because I had never met anybody like him. It was not love. It was something else. I thought he was so good in Character and morals. I had never met anybody like that before. He was like a father, protecting his family, He was like a brother, always there for advice. He was very kind and loyal. He was very much in love with me, but I was not so much in love with him, but I thought for my self that I would NEVER regret that I married him. There is a way out, always, if I thought that he was not the right man for me later on, but even then I would not regret it. His character and morals were the reason for marrying him. 

Today we have been married for 12 years and we have two kids: One son and one daughter. I still admire him for his intellect, morals and character and we both learn from each other. We have both changed in character since and only for the better. We learn from our bad deeds, have patience with each other and we follow islam. We both reject anything that is agains islam and always relay on islam and the guidance of Qur'an, fiqh and sunnah. I still read a lot of books as a complement to these and that have helped me and my family and a lot of my friends. 

Books are good. But the most important thing for a Muslim or anybody is to be optimistic, open-hearted, and a good listener. Both I and my husband are good listeners- It is the key to a good relationsship and also the key to become a better person. 

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