2015/06/13

I demand being seen, heard, respected and ultimately understood and loved



For many years I have believed that if I just did what everybody else wanted me to do, I would be loved more. So I did.

I played the piano. So that my mum would love me.
I kept quiet som that my family wouldn't argue with me.
I worked so that the society would love me.
I accepted to shut my self up for many years, so that my husband would be calm.
I didn't respect my boundaries.

I didn't respect it.

I failed.

And I get down.
And then I got up.

I started to show who I was. How I thought. I started to gain knowledge, so that people would respect me. So that they would listen to me.

But people didn't change. They listened, but they didn't change.

But then, something happened.

I found the key to health. I found it. It was all there all the time.

I wrote about it.
I learned more.

And people started to see that my health improved. So they tried what I had tried, and succeeded.

And then I felt better and I knew I was on the right path.

If it was correct once, then perhaps I would be correct a second one.
So I started to build up som self-trust.

Which helped me to find ways to improve my mental and emotional health.

And then I finally found Teal Swan, who is the last one of many, many, many people and the end of a long-time research of 30 years, and she is now one of my favourite mentors in my life.

I now focus on self-love, self-respect, self-honor, self-soothing, relief,

And I am on the right path. inchallah.

Thir Ramadan will be the best ever, inchallah.

The future is bright. The hope and love is there. I was so afraid before. But I ain't no more.

Thank you Allah, Thank you Ahad, One, As-Samad, the Inseparable.

Alhamdolillah.