2012/12/12

If a woman needs the attention of other men, then she must work with her relationship at home - her husband must notice her and observe her better.

1: Woman’s Pray at Home is better than Going to Mosque and it makes her happy

Narrated by Ibn ‘Umar: Allah’s Apostle said: “Do not prevent women (wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, etc) from (praying at) mosques. Yet, their prayer at home is better (for them).”

2 : Woman’s Freedom to Go out for their Needs i.e. a woman is free to go out as she wishes, and it makes her happy.

Narrated by ‘Aisha: Allah’s Apostle said: “You (women) have been allowed to go out for your needs.”

3 : Evils behind Unnecessary Socialising of Unveiled Women, i.e. a woman that is veiled and is around other women that are veiled makes her much happier than spending time with unveiled women.

Narrated by Ibn Mas’ud: Allah’s Apostle said: “(Unveiled) woman is a cause of corruption. Once she goes out Satan beautifies her in the eyes of men (to seduce her as well as them). At her home, she is the closest (to the face) of her Lord.”

4 : Woman should take the Permission of Her Husband before Going out. When a woman asks the permission of her husband and letting him know where she is, this give her the attention she needs to feel happy. She wants her husband to think of her all the time while she is gone.

Narrated by Ibn Umar: One of the wives of Umar (bin Al-Khattab) used to offer the Fajr and the ‘Isha’ prayer in congregation in the Mosque. She was asked why she had come out for the prayer as she knew that Umar disliked it, and he has great “ghaira” (self-respect). She replied, “What prevents him from stopping me from this act?” The other replied, “The statement of Allah’s Apostle (p.b.u.h): ‘Do not stop Allah’s women-slave from going to Allah’s Mosques. “

5: Prohibition on Women Regarding Putting Perfumes when Going out. When a woman wants to smell good it is enough taking a bath or a shower. The freshness of her own odour is much greater than any perfume. In putting perfumes she will have attention from women and men, and this will make her happy. But if she does it in public, she will also have the attention of other men that will start thinking about her instead of their own spouses. Does she want that?

Narrated by Abu Mousa Al Ash’ari: Allah’s Apostle said: “If a woman uses perfume and passes the people so that they may get its odour, she is so-and-so, meaning severe remarks. (i.e. about to commit adultery).”

6 : Prohibition on Women regarding showing her Charms when Going out. In showing your charms to men and women you will feel happy, but do it to your own husband. Make him observe you and do comments on your outfits, body and charm. Flirt with your spouse. If you are flirting with other you might gain a little, but the evil that is therein is much greater. YOU will feel better, but the spouse of the man that you are flirting with will NOT.

Narrated by Fudhalah ibn ‘Ubaid: Allah’s Apostle said: “Three persons are doomed …. Among them a woman whose husband is not present and provides for her; yet she shows her charms to (foreign) men.”

7 : Women should not travel without Mahram. To have the attention of your husband while traveling is one of the best keys to a good marriage. Why would you like to travel alone? The attention you need from your husband to make you happy is enough. If you don't feel happy, maybe your husband is not noticing you as he should. Talk to him immediatly.

Narrated by Ibn ‘Abbas: Allah’s Apostle said: “A woman should not travel except with a Dhu-Mahram (her husband or a man with whom that woman cannot marry at all according to the Islamic Jurisprudence).” A man got up and said, “O Allah’s Apostle! I intend to go to such and such an army and my wife wants to perform Hajj.” The Prophet said (to him), “Go along with her (to Hajj).”

8 : Women should have their own Entrance to the Mosque. Every woman is special, so why not give her a special gift - her own entrance to the mosque. This way she will feel important and thought of and she will also have her concentration on the prayers instead of the men and vice versa.

Narrated by Ibn ‘Umar: Allah’s Apostle said: “Should we leave this entrance (at the Mosque, i.e. Al Masjid AL Nabawi ) only for women to enter.” The sub-narrator, Ibn Nafie’ said: “Ibn ‘Umar did not use this entrance (after that) until his death.”

9 : Women should not walk in the middle of the street. Even though walking in the middle of the street makes a woman happy, it is not a good idea. If she wants to have the attention of other men, then it must be something lacking in her relationship - her husband doesn't notice her.

Narrated by Abi Ausaid Al Ansari: While Allah’s Apostle was going out of the mosque he saw all men and women in the road. He told the women: “You should wait behind. You should not walk in the middle of the road.” The narrator said: “women afterwards used to walk so close to the wall so that their dresses often stick to it.”

10 : Women should perform Tawaf without mingling with men. Even though it might seem difficult to not mixing with men today, you should stay as close to your husband or with other women as you can. This will help the men keep their focus on their mission, instead of your beauty. I know that you will feel sad if the men doesn't notice you, but work on your marriage instead.

Narrated by Ibn Jarieh said ‘Ata had told him when Ibn Hashim prevented women from performing Tawaf with men: how could he prevent them while the wives of the Prophet performed Tawaf with men?” I (i.e. Ibn Jarieh) said: before or after (the verse of) hijab (was revealed)? He said: “Upon my life, after hijab.” “How could they intermix with men?” I asked. “They didn’t,” he replied. “’Aisha used to perform Tawaf at a dividing space from men; she didn’t intermingle with them.”

Sins in islam - good or bad?

Oppression and usury
To oppress other people can make some people happy, as they feel stronger. But the evil of it is greater than the good feelings the person that oppress others are much greater than the good that is therein.

Usury makes people happy too. It will increase peoples wealth, but the evil of the action is greater than the good.

Cheating, theft, telling lies, backbiting, false witness, cursing:
When you feel sexual desires, or in love you think that it is good to cheat with him or her, but the evil is greater than the good. 

When you steal things you feel that you are worth it, but the evil of it is much greater than the good.

When you are telling a lie, to protect yourself, your reputation or gain benefits, you feel good, but the evil is much greater than the good. 

When you are releaving your heart about things you have seen or heard, it makes you feel important or better, but the evil in doing it is greater than the benefit. 

Sometimes you feel good when you protect somebody with not telling the truth, you don't want to witness, but the evil thing in it is greater than the good. 

You neglect cursing others as you do with the flies, you think it is something childish, or out of anger you feel good to cursing others, but the evil in it is greater than the good. 

bribery, homicide, gambling, teaching and spreading harmful ideologies, witchcraft
When you want something badly, or have benefits, or be accepted above others, you might feel that it is a good thing to bribe, but the evil is much worse than the benefits.

Sometimes when you are sad or angry you feel like hitting or even kill a person, but you must know by now that killing or homicide is evil. Even though YOU might feel good for a moment, when releaving all bad feelings, the evil is much more than the good. 

The feeling, or addiction of gambling rises your hormones. You feel excited and good. But the good therein is way much  less than the evil. 

Sometimes, when you meet knew people or a new idea or ideology, you might want to implement those ideas stright off. But the evil might be greater than the benefits, so be careful. 

You are reading the tarotcards, or you are listening to someone who has magic abilities or psychic gifts. You might feel overwhelmed over what she or he says about you, and think that it is good to know yourself and your destiny. But that is only falsehood, right off. The evil in it is much greater than the benefit.

Singing, dancing and dressing up makes a woman happy

I am so tired of hearing that everything that is forbidden can't make you happy. Muslims say that a LOT. That is not true. Singing, dancing and dressing uo Do make us happy, BUT, yes, there is a but, you will not feel happy if you are Not a Muslim and dancing, you will rather cry. perhaps not when you are singing, but afterwards. you will feel empty. but singing with your kids fill your heart with love. dancing around makes us feel happier and more energetic and dressing up will increase our oxytocin, but we only do that for our family, i.e. our husbands, not everyone. but when you sing for everyone, dancing in front of people and dressing up you will feel good too, but the thing is that the same rule as alcohol is implied on everything in life. When the evil is greater than the good, then it is prohibited, forbidden.

How? When a woman attracts orgel peoples attention she will feel good, at the moment. But then, when she knows that she attracts other men's attention and pull it away from his wife's, then it gets evil. Imagine that your husband think of another woman? how does that make you feel? and worse, what if your husband is attracted to another woman right now because she is more sexier than you are? That is why a woman and also a man should wear modest clothes, not sing to each other or dance in front of everyone. If will confuse the feelings of the person watching.

then, think also about how you spend your time. what could you have done instead of confusing people's hearts?

You feel like singing, because singing makes you laugh, and dance and it makes you happy, and if you do it in front of an audience you will be more happy. BUT, yes, there is a but, the thing is that when you spend your day, your life and your time with learning the songs, you forget about everything else. Why is that bad? Because you will forget about where you come from and where you are heading. It will make it difficult to keep your mind in focus for where you are going to go and the afterlife. Sing for your family and your children, and stay away from official performances.

If you like to dance, then dance. Dance makes you feel good and happy. That is not the question. But, yes there is a but, when you dance in front of others, you will start having eyes on you, people that will admire you, perhaps even an evil eye or two. You will also, in that moment have men's or women's attention and they will start thinking of you. Dance, but in your own house or with your friends. Stay away from mixed places.

When you dress yourself up, it is to give you attention. This is not a bad thing. It is good to have the attention of other women and men. But, yes there is a but, when you do this in front of others then can start feel bad, ugly, not good enough. Their husbands will start thinking of you instead of their own spouses. You feel good, but the result is that you will be a cause of disturbing other peoples minds and hearts. Dress up in front of your husband instead and make him say that you are lovely. Teach him to observe you - tell him that is makes you happy - and that he always must remark things that you change in your look. This will make both you and your spouse happy. When you are happy - then your spouse is too.

These are just three things. There are plenty of more things to make you happy.

Until then, salam aleikum.