2012/09/16

Emigration is a big trial for you, but after that there is relief

The first year, 2011-2012, was a very hard year. The first couple of months was not only hard for us, the parents, but also the kids. Everything was new for us. Language, environment, people, culture, traditions, routines, school, food, friends and more. That is why I quit job and concentrated me on just be with my kids. It was a huge change in my life. From having so much to do, to now only concentrate on my kids and not having my husband around, was a big threat to myself. I went depressed, because I didn't do anything. My parents and sisters and brothers in law helped me with my kids. That would be great if it wasn't for the fact that I wasn't used to it. I hated it. I hated to be taking care of. My mother had ignored me when my kids were born. I had no help at all, all my life, and now everybody helped me. I couldn't stand it. It was quite terrible for somebody who had done everything, now had nothing to do. No job, no taking the kids to school, no studies, no friends, no one that understood me. My husband was far away from me and I was alone. I behaved very badly sometimes, and I regret that, but I was really depressed. But when I had my own place to stay, everything changed for the better. That is all about Patience and trials. I have went through it, not without complaining, but I have managed to survive and only good can come out of patience, because Allah has said that! After trials there will be relief! Biidnillah.

It is a very hard and difficult decision you have to make when you leave your country and your partner. Many people have done that. Many have survived. The most difficult thing to see is your little girl crying like she has lost her mother for ever. That is really hard. But then you will also understand that this is only a reflection of the good, if not great relationship you have with your daughter. You understand her. You laugh with her. You sing with her. You help her with everything she needs. This gives you great perspective on family life and the importance of the mother. I feel proud of what I have achieved so far, even if I feel it is hard sometimes. Because I know that my children also will be much stronger, they will appreciate what they have - familyties and they will be more thankful! They have changed - for the better. 

A happy man is a threat against our economical and political ideology

Was Muhammad peace be upon him a Capitalist? Did he want us to expand and buy more and more? Did the prophet himself change what he had for what he didn't have? Did he replace everything he bought with something new? Was Muhammad peace be upon him happy?

These are questions a modern man must think about today. We are all in the system of Capitalism. Some are worried about the future of our Economy and how we must continue expanding if we don't want war and chaos.

But will there be war and chaos if we stop spending everything we have on new clothes, new cars, new travels, new furnitures?

Consider this.

The prophet Muhammad has lived during a period a richness with his wife Khadija who was a very wealthy woman. She contributed with everything he needed and ever wanted. But he died with nothing. He desired nothing, but to be pure in his heart. That is why he asked his beloved wife Aicha if he had anything left in his house. She said yes - a couple of dirham. So she gave the money away on prophet's deathbed.

Is this how we live today? Do we strive for having nothing left? No, we don't. We don't live like the prophet Muhammad peace be upon him. We buy things everyday. We have food on our plates. We have furnitures and cars and luxury handbags. Do we think about how to get rid of these things? No, we think the contrary. We think how we can exchange these things to something better than we have. The television mustn't be a thick one from Philips, but rather a flat HD. The car has a scratch on the side and it is getting old - ten years now, so we MUST have a new one.

So how did the Economy survive in the 8th Century?

It is simple.

The only thing you must be happy with, is how you get your money and how you spend it.
You must be sure that the way you earn the money you have is a halal one. You must also be sure of how you spend the money, so that the money are beneficial for you and the society.

"The two feet of the son of Adam will not move on the Day of Judgement in front of his Lord until he is asked about five things: about his life, and how he spent it? And about his youth, what did he consume it in? And about his money, how did he earn it? And what did he spend it on? And how much did he act upon what he knew?"

A Muslim doesn't worry about his wealth. He knows that Allah has set everything up for his destiny. The only thing he has to do is to be grateful for what he has, and he will be given more of it. Allah is the Wealthiest. The only thing we do here on earth is to use what Allah has given us, a loan, and nothing of it will be with us when we die. If we stop remembering our death and what comes next, we will certainly continue contribute to the Capitalism and what comes with it.

 "Your wealth and your children are only a trial (fitnah). And Allah - With Him is a great reward (Paradise)." [Surah al-Taghabun, 15]

A Muslim must see that everything he has is a trial for him. He doesn't own anything he has. They are only a loan and can perish at any time. So what does Allah want us to do with what we have?

"Say: If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your kindred, the wealth that you have gained, the commerce in which you fear a decline, and the dwellings in which you delight, are more beloved to you than Allah and His Messenger, and striving in His Cause, then wait until Allah executes His Decision (torment). And Allah guides not the people who are rebellious (disobedient to Allah)." [Surah al-Tawbah, 24]

Allah doesn't say that we cannot gain more of this world, but He says that we attach our heart to what we have, more than we do to our prophet Muhammad peace be upon him and what he has done and more than we attach our heart to Allah and the Hereafter.
 
"The Day of Judgement has come close, and mankind will only increase their desire for this world, and they will only go farther and farther away from Allah."

It doesn't say that you cannot be wealthy. In fact, the wealthy person who does good is better than a poor person who wants to do good, so we must strive for wealth. The problem is that we are human and that we easily attach our heart to what we have accumulated. That is why we must consider if we are able to do the right thing with what we have. What is the best thing for my soul to do? That is a tough question and it is up to you to answer it. 

"The businessmen will be resurrected on the Day of Judgement amongst the sinful (fujjar), except those who have taqwa of Allah, and are honest and truthful."

So be careful on how you get your money and how you spend it. Because you will be accountable for everything you have done with it.

"Three things destroy, and three things save. As for the three things that destroy, they are: greediness that is obeyed, and desires that are followed, and a person becoming self-conceited (and proud) with himself. As for the three things that save, they are: the fear of Allah in secret and public, and moderation in poverty and richness, and fairness in anger and pleasure."

But, and there is a but. You must also consider not to be poor, because there is a trial in being poor too. It is not easy to be poor either. The best thing you can do is to pray this, just like the prophet Muhammad himself peace be upon him did.

"O Allah! I seek your refuge from the evils of the fitnah of wealth, and the evils of the fitnah of poverty." [8]

Both poverty and wealth are fitnahs — ways by which Allah tries and tests us.

"The plentiful (i.e., the rich) will be the lowest on the Day of Judgement, except he who distributed his money left and right (i.e., at all times), while he earned from pure (means)."

and 

Abu Said related that the Prophet said: The truthful and trustworthy businessman will be in the company of Prophets, saints and martyrs on the Day of Judgment. (Darimi, Tirmidhi)