Goals to achieve in life!

Number 26

I hope that I, in my journal, would write all of this some day: 

1. I learned a whole Surah in the noble Qur'an today!  
2. I read a book in arabic today!
3. I prayed all my prayer today and more!
4. I have dreamt a beautiful dream tonight!
5. I was the cause for somebody to convert to Islam today!
6. I inaugurated a mosque today!
7. I was present at an inauguration of a school for poor people today!
8. I finished writing the book today
9. I have fallen in love with my husband today - again
10. I have got my book published today. 
11. I gave some money to the needy and poor today.
12. I fasted today. 
13. I visited Mecca today 
14. I visited Medina today
15. I performed the last day on Hajj today
16. I hired somebody today
17. I managed to run 6 miles today
18. I have got a big order today
19. I improved the quality of the water today
20. I have achieved all the goals I have set
21. I celebrated a 50-year marriage
22. I read the whole Qur'an today
23. I visited the North Pole today
24. I took care of my family today and made wonderful dinner and company
25. I wrote a nasheed today
26. I have got a baby today
27. I took care of an orphan today

Clearly I have managed to achieve some goals like number 24 and 26, but the rest is something I have to work on. 

Some related stuff:


Djihad - beyond your limits

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. So if you are feeling uncomfortable right now, know that the change taking place in your life is a beginning, not an ending". - Neale Donald Walsch

Djihad - to do fajr in time
Djihad - To say the truth about Allah to people even though you are afraid of being ridiculed.
Djihad - To have the best character
Djihad - to be righteous with your body, mind and soul!
Djihad - to choose a good and righteous husband even though he is not the most famous or rich one you know.
Djihad - to put your heart into worship
Djihad - to stay patient even though your prayers are not accepted yet!
Djihad - to choose Hajj instead of a trip to Hawaii
Djihad - to stay patient even though the water is boiling up to your ears...
Djihad - to stay stable even though everybody around you shakes....
Djihad - to be happy in sickness and sadness
Djihad - to put all your strength to write a book that will benefit you.
Djihad - to have patience even though you are treated badly.
Djihad - to have patience like prophet Yusuf aleihi salem when was put in the well.
Djihad - to be a woman even though everybody wants you to be like a man
Djihad - to be a man even though everybody wants you to be like a woman
Djihad - to stay different, even thought everybody wants you to be like them
Djihad - to put all arrogance down and repent
Djihad - to participate Jumu'ah even though you can't
Djihad - to strive further with all your strength
Djihad - to say the truth when everybody is hearing even though it is hard.

Djihad is about having patience and try a little harder!

Some related stuff:


These things are what I would like to do and these places would I like to visit:

18th of January every year we, my husband and I, want to make a felicitation ceremony (we were married this day) and then go for a journey somewhere and do things we usually do not do. We have not done any of these yet, but dreaming about it is a start.

1. Beverages and chocolatemaking somewhere in Southamerica 
2. Riding icelandhorses on Iceland
3. Have a nice pic-nic in South-Carolina, USA
4. Having a big Party for everyone
5. Flying an air-balloon
6. Flying a helicopter in the north of Sweden
7. Dogsledding in Alaska or Canada
8. Mountain climbing
9. Horse and carriage Dinner in Central Park, New York
10. Tea in England or Portsmouth or China
11. Massage in Turkey
12. arranged guided tour in a diamond mine in Africa
13. Skitrip to Norway or Switscherland
14. Have a unique gift like buying a star.


“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to love what you do.” -Steve Jobs

I am really confused about working. I have never found something that I really love so much that it could take a great deal of my time, except for islam. I enjoy teaching, reading and writing and I have a lot of ideas as I am an entrepreneur. These are ideas that I want to share with you. The question is how to engage people to help me, who believe in the same thing as I do. People who want to do something for this world, for this community. I want to help the materialistic poor people, but how I do that with no money? 

Okej. Let me share some of my ideas. What is the first thing that I will make a profit if I start a business. Which one?  

1. Pearls, gold and silver
2. Import and export of tree and oil
3. Produce chairs and tables in a poor country
4. A printcompany
5. A monthly review
6. Microcredits
7. Lights
8. Produce beverages
9. Matches and boxes of fruits secs
10. An internetcafé
11. Import- export of mecanical machines
12. A toy fabric
13. A sewing atelier
14. A paintstore
15. A bicyclestore
16. A chocolate boutique and candystore
17. A postorder company
18. Marketing
19. A child and babystore
20. A watchstore
21. Coffee and confections
22. Sport store
23. Teaching materials and books
24. Wedding boutique
25. Hotel
26. Recycling company
27. Consulting business
28. Safety and security for homes and cars
29. Rent of tools and mechanical machines
30. School
31. Radioshow
32. Natural medications
33. Free paper
34. Home services including cooking
35. Shoe and textileindustri
36 Tv-shop
37. Design
38. Ironstore
39. Inspirational journal of baking and cooking
40. Write books
41. Make a movie or a documentary
42. Stay at home

So which one should I start with. I have already tried to close my eyes to know which one I should do, then focusing and feeling and see if some of them resonates in me and makes me engaged. Did I cry? No, I did not. So none of these are that important to me, as I thought they would. 

I cry when I watch movies or when people convert to islam. I cry when I see a newborn baby. I also cry when I am fatigued and still keep working. I also cry when I am doing the right thing that I have not done but thought about for a long time. I cry when I feel that I have been the means of changing somebody's mind or heart. I laugh at many things too, but that is another story.

In conclusion I can tell that whatever I chose in life I know that the only thing that matters is my faith in the One and only Creator, my behavior and also that I have to avoid things that are not permitted and repent constantly. 


Who am I? Judged by my hobbies and interests!

Life would be very boring without hobbies. We would appear like robots without feelings or color blind creatures or simply aliens on our own planet. Hobbies give sense to our existence. Since early childhood, we are used to a certain daily routine. Hobbies bring a welcome change to our mundane routine. They allow us to keep a balance between busy moments and free time. The meaning of word 'hobby' stretches beyond usual leisure activities such as reading, watching TV and so on. In fact, there is a very long list of hobbies and interests to suit each of our taste. 

Hobbies and interests can be as diverse as individuals pursuing them. It is impossible to categorize hobbies according to social, economical or physical aspects. 

So what do I enjoy, what are my dreams and what do I do as a hobby?

I have a lot of dreams, hobbies and I enjoy a lot of different things. Here are a few of my favorites: 

First of all, I enjoy spending a lot of time with my children and family. Then I love to watch people converting to islam! I love to think about the man who gave me the key to fulfillness! I love nights and staying up late! I love Fridays. Fridays is the day of Friday-prayers. Friday is the day of Peace! Fruit is so good. I dream about fruits sometimes. For example I have dreamt about eating oranges while heading towards Medina and Mecka! When I dreamt about little birds at night, it was actually angels! I admire all astronauts that are so brave. They do something I only dream about. I love to travel. Mostly I love to travel by train. I saw this new train invented by NASA in Franscisco. Should I go there for a nice trip? June is the season of rhubarbs. I love rhubarbs, especially crumble rhubarb. 

I dream about a house in the north, where I can go during holidays. I love snow! I would like to bake something special to my mother - a lemonparfait with grenadinesirop and grenadine. Is not the sand and the desert the most exotic thing in the world? So warm, so beautiful, so exciting. I wish I could go there on a camel some day in the winter and pray. I love to celebrate with couscous. I love lilies of the Valley. They smell sooooo good. I would like to learn how to make candy canes! Candy Canes reminds me about my childhood when I was a child and visited Liseberg. I love how the taste of mint spreads around in the mouth and down the throat. Not nourishing or even healthy, but it makes you happy just thinking about them!

I am also interested in 
  • Exploring volcanoes and underwater caves.
  • Symbolism.
  • Underwater photography.
  • Chasing tornadoes.
  • Exploring extra-sensory capacities, through different methods like hypnosis.
  • Animal communication.


10 things that happens when you open al-Qur'an!

The Qur'an is not a book like anyone else. The Qur'an is not holy. Holy is a word that the Christians use about their book, the Bible. We say Qur'an al-nabil, the noble Qur'an. 

  1. Everyday muslims are talking about islam. Why?People convert to islam more and more. One reason to convert is that you have read al-Qur'an. Everyday I know boys like you that are converting, because of what is said in the noble book. Every day girls put on hidjab and make shahada, witness that there is no God but Allah, and that Muhammad is his messenger, salatu wa salem because of what is told in the noble Qur'an. You have read books before, but none will be as this book. This book makes people cry, laugh and repent. This book teaches old gentlemen how to live their last years in life. This book teaches young boys how to behave towards their parents. Are not you curious about reading it?
  2. You will protect yourself from harm. For example there is a verse, ayat al-kursi, that will protect you, Allah willing, from shaytan and djinn. 
  3. You will heal and cure yourself. 
  4. You will start remember. 
  5. You will know the purpose of life
  6. You will know what you were before you were born and what will happen after you die. 
  7. You will understand life, 
  8. You will know that there is invisible things in life that we should take into consideration while we live. 
  9. You will start change your routines in foods, drinks, clothes, habits, relations with friends, collegues, family and with yourself. 
  10. You will get to learn Allah, the One who has created you.  
I first read the Qur'an in french. It was a little red book with golden frames. I was very eager to know what it said about Jesus, Maria, Moses and also who God was. I did not want to know about women, but when I read I saw that women were greatly respected, more than I had ever imagined. So what are you fear of reading the Qur'an? That you will be brain-washed? Well, it is a fact. You WILL be brain-washed, but in a positive way. You will understand everything and how the puzzle's image looks like. You will understand life. Because Allah is the God of everybody on earth. He has sent prophets since Adam. If you do not believe in Adam? Then, look for all scientific verses in the Qur'an. Then you will understand, accept and believe that Adam was you ancestor. 

The Qur'an talks not only about the believers, but also about the none-believers and the ones who says they are believers but are not, the hypocrites. You can read more here

Some related stuff:

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Advice about marriage and patience

Many people ask me for advice on how to do to find someone they can care about or the rest o their lives. They ask to gain some hope about finding love, their true love. This is an answer I gave one of my brothers.

"Salam Aleikum. I am glad that I could help you in some way and I hope that Allah will help you further. I will pray for you inchallah, but you have to be righteous before Allah can accept my prayer. Biidnillah. You will get married inchallah. Strive to purify yourself as much as you can and know that Allah loves those you are pure in soul, mind and heart. When your intentions are sincere, Allah will accept your prayer inchallah, but to have a sincere heart you have to purify it. You know how to purify yourself, but I really recommend you to stop watching and listening to any kind of inappropriate things, because the heart dies when doing this, and the heart is the key to Allah and to marriage and joy. Be patient, knowing that Allah will reward you (and most of the time it is the sins that makes us depressed, so stay away from sins) You know how to find more information I am sure so I leave you for now! And May Allah be with you and bless you."

Some related stuff:


Yesterday, my husband and I spoke. He told me something awful. I still think about that. As it is mid-summer in Sweden the 22th of June everybody meets their families and enjoy a time together with food and alcohol. As it is a pagan tradition, no Muslims are celebrating. They do other things. When my husband left work late Friday evening his colleagues were all going home. They asked him what he would do. He answered that he would not do anything special.  They proposed to him to go and have "fun" while his family was all gone. He answered that he could not because his wife will see him. She has got cameras all over the street and at home. She will see everything. He said it with irony and he did not say the whole truth, that Allah sees him as he did not want them to insult Allah or his religion.

Oh, that is so disturbing. How can he continue working with that sort of colleagues. He is one of several bosses at a big driving company in Sweden, it is a good job, but the environment is not good. They are not Muslims or even Christians or Jews. They do not have faith at all. His colleagues go out to after-works to drink a lot. My husband goes home. He has a good friend, a neighbor living on first floor. They spend time together. Alhamdolillah that Allah protects him. If he had been more weak in faith, far away from his family, not Muslim, he would perhaps had listened to them, but now he does not fear me, that is all wrong. He does NOT fear ME. It is Allah that he fears and he fears that he will be on Resurrection Day and everybody will see his sins. He knows what to do and that Allah sees everything. He knows that Allah is listening. Because this life is a test we all have to be careful with what we say and do, because it will have effect not only in this life, negatively or positively, it will also continue into the next life, after death.  

I love my husband dearly. Alhamdolillah that he is a Muslim. Alhamdolillah that he is faithful not only to me, but to his belief. THIS is what islam does with people. It gives integrity, moral and good manners. Alhamdolillah.


My level of education and character

There is nothing so boring as writing about something perfect as islam. So why should I bother writing? The truth has already been written in the book called Qur'an. All I have to do is read it, repeat what it says and make more people listen to the beauty of islam. 

Islam is white, pure and clean. Islam is like a beautiful white dove when it bowes to drink some water. Islam is peace. Not the peace that the people at concerts are trying to expose, but the inner, true peace. The one that will calm you and make you tranquil when you're feeling sad or angry. 

Islam is what it is. It is the perfect religion to smart people. People who think, and want something more out of life than just cash. There have been gay people loving this religion of Allah. There have been small, ordinary people in other side of the world accepting and putting on the islamic clothes of belief everyday. There have been famous people in Hollywood doing hajj after accepting islam. So why should not you? 

Every man and woman has a heart. This heart is not only the physical one, but also the spiritual one. I have met so many people that want to know why I wear hidjab, but yet they do not want to know anything about Allah. But how will they understand why I wear hidjab if they do not know Allah. They will never understand. 

So, everybody, please, try to learn more about the great Creator of yours. The One, the Merciful, who is Unique and Only. He has not been born, and he has no child of his. He has no beginning and no end. Yet, He is the Almighty, the Powerful, who guides Whom He willst. 
Let's do an exercise. 
Sit down and close your eyes. This will make your ear start working harder. Even your nose will start fonctioning better. The result of closing your eyes is that you will start using other organs and senses, and thus you react and experience life in another way than you are used to. When you open your eyes again, you will start forgetting what you just experienced. That is the same with the truth. When you let your eyes decide and your brain interpret, the heart will not feel or at least you will not notice that the heart feels. It will be closed. Thus you will never understand the purpose. Only the heart can understand the purpose. Only the heart can be filled with belief. Not your brain or your eyes. So close your eyes, just for a minute, and make your brain quit chattering. Feel. 

Open your eyes. You will not feel much of a difference. Perhaps you will feel a little bit sad. Some of you will certainly say it is because of fatigue or sickness. But is it really? Think about your graveyard. You are there, under the earth. Nobody will be there. You will be conscious. No, that is true. Allah has told us so. But not physical conscious, spiritually. Angels will come and ask you questions. How do I know? I have read the Qur'an and the sunnah. I were in doubt before I entered islam. I felt life were full of opportunities. I still feel that, but now I am not concentrating on that as much as I am focusing on my life and my life in the here after. Every girl and boy has asked the question why? With islam I have found the answers. I do not feel that religion is something for the ancestors, or the believers, because I AM ONE now. I know who has Created me. It is God, Allah, the Most High. 

With the light of the Qur'an I now see things I did not believe before. I understand things I did not understand before. I think thoughts that I have never thought before. I feel feelings that I have never felt before. 

I want you to use your eyes and brain to know about all miracles that are in life. Just look at yourself and how you were born and what you were before you were born. Where were you? You were literally nothing, just a soul. Look at a child who is innocent and pure. Look at old people waiting for death to come and take their soul. They are all hoping to get some peace. But will there be peace after death? Some think opimistically that everything is gonna be alright. This is not true. Everything is not going to be alright. There is a time-limit to every soul on earth. How we behave and how we think and how be feel will be judged. It is not WHAT you do that is important in life. It is HOW you do it. So if you live a long life, or a short one, as a poor or a wealthy man, none of these things matter and God will not judge you with the wealth you have earned, only HOW you have spent it and HOW you have earned it. 

I know that this life is a test. It is a test to see which of us that will work with our hearts and minds and souls to purify ourselves. Why purify ourselves? Because paradise will only be open for those who are pure in mind, body and soul. If you are not pure in mind, body and soul in life, then you will be purified in the grave. If you are not purified in the grave, you will be purified on the judgement day. If that is not enough, you will be purified with in hell. Then you can enter paradise, with Allahs will, wisdom and mercy. 

I love Allah, because I know Him. I love Allah because He has guided me. I know that if you love Allah, more than I do and seek guidance from Him, with pure intentions, then Allah will certainly, Allah willing, guide you and love you. Everyone has its whole life to pass the test, and on the Judgement day you will have your test back. Did you succeed? Or did you fail? 
I know for sure that everything in islam is beautiful, because I understand some of Allahs wisdom that he has giventh me. Allah knows what is best for us and therefore I want to witness everyday that there is no God but Allah, and Muhammad is His messenger. 

Thank you for reading this!

Introduction of Journal of a Muslim convert

Journal of a Muslim convert

Why Journal of a Muslim convert will broaden your perspectives and increase your understanding about converts to Islam and how you can improve your life as well.

If you want to get to know a Muslim convert and find out what I think about islam, science, personal growth people and life, then your are at the right place.

Here's the deal:

You must learn about me and also about islam to understand a Muslim convert. 

If you know what a Muslim convert thinks, then perhaps you will think better of them, not thinkiing they are brain-washed or something. 

How do we know what goes on inside the mind of a Muslim convert?

I'll break down my own mind and islam into smaller pieces and write about it here. 

Sounds interesting?

Enter your e-mail address above and click "Sign me up" to get free updates. Or click on follow me below.

What other people say about Journal of a Muslim convert

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About Me 

I am called Esma by my Muslim friends and my husband’s family. I love to read, investigate in research and science and write in general, especially pertaining to topics related to personal development, as well as current social and scientific insights in various areas of the world.

I have studied many languages: French, English, German, and Arabic. I am originally from Sweden and I am half Swedish, half Norwegian. I have studied economics but have to finish another year if I want to have my Bachelor of Science in Business and Economics.

I love living a healthy life, even though I also love chocolate, mint and liquorices. The most important thing in the world is my religion, spiritual, psycological and emotional health and family. I am a Muslim convert since 2000, before 911. My husband is from Tunisia. Our two children have emigrated with me to Tunisia (my husband has to work in Sweden). I am also curious about my origin that is why I am trying to do researches about the history of the world, which is really interesting.

This is made for those who want something to read on their way home on the bus, or train. You will probably read more than one article, please begin with these two: Universe is a spiral and so says Qur'an and If you eat porc meat, why don't you eat lion meat as well? without stop, and with much likeliness. Put the blog to your favourites or better, sign up for free new updates newsletter.

I surely believe that Allah exists and that he is One and I surely want to be pure in every way when I die.

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